I feel like one of the most common pieces of advice you hear whenever you’re trying something new is to “trust the process.”
Not sure how this runny batter is going to rise into a loaf of banana bread? Trust the process.
Unclear how the modular furniture you’re assembling is actually going to look good? Trust the process.
(Photo by Taryn Elliott from Pexels)
For authors, we have our own specific version of trust the process: don’t edit as you go. I feel confident in saying that most baby authors have heard this advice at some point. When you’re drafting, don’t try to edit what you’ve just written. Allow the story to unfold. Revisions are for after the first draft is done.
This is good advice, but for a perfectionist like me, it’s really difficult to follow. I’m experiencing this now as I’m drafting book 2 in my series, The Enchantress & The Rake. I hate everything I’m writing. I want to throw it all out and start again, but I know that’s a bad idea. Usually, if I come back the next day, I realize what I wrote wasn’t so bad. A lot of this is imposter syndrome at work.
I see this a lot with my teenager. She’s an artist, and she will often just trash a project if she doesn’t like it. I recognize that writing a book and sculpting a figure out of clay are different things, but I’ve been trying (with mixed success) to encourage her not to throw things out right away. We need to learn from our mistakes. Despite popular opinion, art is not just an innate talent. Of course, you can argue that many people have a natural ability to create, but so much of art, like anything else, is based in practice.
(Photo by KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA from Pexels)
I might only have two published books, but I’ve been writing my entire life. I wrote fanfic for many years. When I go back and read some of those now, I may cringe a little, but I also recognize things I’m proud of. I learned things writing those stories, and they still resonate with readers today. I get a little thrill every time I get an email from AO3 that someone left kudos or commented on one of my stories. These imperfect works can resonate with readers because art is not about perfection. It’s about emotion.
That’s a hard lesson for perfectionists like myself and my kiddo. I’m constantly listening to advice from other authors on things I can improve in my writing. I want it to be more inclusive, more exciting, but also cozy and comforting to readers. I want readers to love my characters and identify with them while also learning new things about themselves and the world. None of these things are impossible, but they require work, and sometimes it’s difficult or impossible to meet all these criteria in one book.
I had an epiphany the other day. I realized that if I try to polish my story to appeal to all readers, I’ll end up making it appeal to no readers. At the end of the day, I need to write a story I’m proud of, like those fanfic posts. I’m still learning. A good artist is always learning. One of my favorite authors, Lexi Blake, has over 100 published books at this point. Every time I read a new story from her, she mentions in the author’s note how she learned something while writing the book. If Lexi can still learn things all these books later, then I certainly can with my small backlist.
So, even though I’m at the point where I hate everything I’m writing, I continue to write. I’m learning what my process looks like, and I know that once I’m done with this draft, there will be revisions. That’s when I can throw things out. And by throw out I mean move them to a deleted scenes folder to possibly use again in the future. I’m trusting the process. It’s hard, but it’s necessary.
Author Brandy Shaw 